I have a profile over on VampireRave.com where I've been a member since it started. On this profile, rather than the usual quizzes and bio and stuff that most people share (and yes, I once had) I now list questions that people have asked me. The intention was for folks to ask me questions to get to know me better rather than my just blathering on. Some questions have been funny, others have been quite insightful. I appreciate them all.

But today I got a new one, and it's a heavy one, and one that I'd like to know what you would say if in the same situation.

For all the real life vamps trying to deal with their differences and how people see them, what advice would you give them?

I once knew a severe empathic vampire, and he told the wrong person, and soon the whole town knew. All his friends abandoned him, deeming him weird, and he became known as the town crazy. The pressure of what others thought of him ate at him until his depression was well past helpless and into the hopeless stage. In the end, he took the emotional pain and turned it physical. It ended his torture as well as his life. He died alone, and was soon forgotten. There wasn't even a notice in the newspaper where his parents had disowned him, believing him to be in a cult of some sort. He had no funeral, and no one missed him. Not even his own mother.

If he had talked to you and told you what was happening, what advice would you have given him, or anyone who knows they are in some way different from the norm and thus, alienated?

Wow, this is a heavy question, but one I'll try to answer and hope I can do your friend a service.

I know a few real vampyres, both sanguine and psychic. The thing is, I've met them all after they had made their decision to come out of the coffin. Also, I've met all of them in safe environments that welcome folks of that lifestyle. I've never had the opportunity to talk to someone in social circles or circumstances outside of that.

I have had friends who suffered either from depression, bi-polar, and even post-traumatic stress syndrome. A couple of them committed suicide because their family didn't recognize the signs or didn't want to believe that their children were going through more than “just a phase”. I have always tried to be there for my friends, and especially to make time to talk on the phone or online, if I couldn't do so in person (if they moved or whatever). It seems to me that in most cases, just having someone to talk to is more important than what is said. But, what I would probably say is this:

First, you are not alone. You are unique, but there are others like you. Folks who've been down this road before you. There is a definite stigma against anyone who lives in a darkness; or hell anyone who is different than the society norm. Goth, punk, sang, psy, empath, tantric, otherkin, and more. They'll lump you into one group: crazy. Maybe there's medications to help one set of symptoms, but that isn't the fix that is needed. Worse, some kids will self-medicate by getting into drugs to escape or to feel better when their energy is low and they don't understand why. Some may run with the wrong groups, or yes, even into cults because there are people who want to be in control of others. They are out there even when the paranoid society assumes wrongfully that you've joined one.

Join Sanguinarius, VVC, VampireRave, OutOfTheCoffin, SangSpace, and yes even Meetup.com, and find local established groups of like-minded individuals and find a second home. Not a “new” home, but a second, understanding home. Depending on your age and your station in life, not everyone can come out of the coffin and tell their friends and family. Nobody said you have to tell anyone, but I'd find folks like you to talk to, to teach you, before you test your confidence to tell a friend or a loved one. Be prepared that most people don't understand. However, the ones that love you and don't try to fix you, will be the ones you can trust.

So, what would you say to a stranger or a friend who chose you to come out of the coffin?